Homo > Cosmo

Don Hood: Not a Hockey Player

Thanks to our decidedly heterosexual pal (overlord) Ian, at Russian Machine for flagging this: Cosmopolitan Magazine’s “The Hottest Guys of the NHL” list. We were obviously too busy watching playoffs and didn’t see it.

Where to start? Cosmo dot com’s Site Director, Korin Miller, compiled the list of 30 players – all NHL teams are represented (Everyone’s a winner!), which is more than we can say for this humble site. Korin got to Cosmo by way of the Washington Post and the New York Daily News, so there’s no telling which team she roots for, if any. Any list like this is subjective and while we take issue with a handful of the picks, so too it seems, do some of Korin’s readers:

Rheanna Stehley: “Sidney Crosby….YUCK.”
Amanda Lee Gourlay: “This list is slightly ridiculous…”
Melanie Rieger: ”I love crosby but there are better picks like kris latang.”
Arian Wahab: “lol what dude this list is horrible.”
Trish Oakum: ”What about Claude Giroux?”

Nowhere in Korin’s piece does she share her methodology.  While we might have a hard time picking Selke, Norris or Calder trophy winners, we do know mens. Our finely tuned and innate appreciation of the male form was honed by many years of… Well, you know, watching a lot of hockey.

We won’t fault Korin’s picks, but a number of hot players are conspicuously absent from her list – like about a dozen Caps: Brooksy, Sasha, Braden, Nicky, etc., but we do concur with her assessment of Mike Green:

“Mike isn’t as flashy as his superstar teammate Alexander Ovechkin, but his talent (and pouty lips) don’t go unnoticed by us.”

Well, now that you brought it up, we will fault a few of Korin’s picks, and where better to start than with Sidney Crosby - a player who usually tops a lot of lists, including our annual rundown of Most Boorish NHL Players. Accompanying this stock photo of Sid, is this injury report: “A bad concussion almost kept him out of the 2011-2012 season. We’re amped sexy Sid made it back.”

And for the record, so too, are the Philadelphia Flyers. The full list, commentary and the pics after the jump (along with another well-oiled shot of Don Hood). 

Zach? Yes. Cam? Ditto. Henrik? All hail the King. Versteeg? Interesting choice. Shane? Wolf Whistle!

Bobby Ryan? Def. Kesler? What list isn’t he on? Lidstrom? Always. Sharp? Of course (and that includes a vote from a straight pal of ours). Wee Martin St. Louis? Interesting choice. Max? Where’s Carey?

Poms? Yeah. Looch: His mug shot is better suited for a wanted poster. Tavares? Dish.

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8 Responses to Homo > Cosmo

  1. trot71 says:

    I tweeted back to Cosmo before that it was nice to include the good acts of the players, but why Wayne Simmonds? This is the guy who was caught on camera calling Avery a “f***ng f*****t”, then pretended that’s not what he said. Nothing sexy about tossing around homophobic slurs and then pretending it didn’t happen.
    (Aside from that, this list is terrible. Any list that says Pominville is hotter than Hodgson, or that Duchesne is hotter than Landeskog is nuts.)

  2. This shit’s whack:

    1.) Ain’t no one read Cosmo, child.

    2.) Mike Green?

    PS — Get that perfectly good hockey equipment on someone who actually wants to play.

  3. GayCanuck says:

    There are some serious holes in this hottie list. And I plan to probe each and every one of them in an upcoming article for PuckBuddys.

  4. I think the What’s Up Ya Sieve girls and I are the only folks dumb enough to admit to finding Mike Green hot, but he’s STILL not hotter than Brooks Laich! And I love my captain Dustin Brown (esp. during this 1st round v. VAN), but there’s no way he’s even in the Top 5 Kings (despite the notorious locker room peen video). And lastly, I think nearly a full third of the Penguins roster is hot, but Sid is NOT one of them. C’mon, man. Letang? Sullivan? Adams? Engelland? Geno? Even friggin Thiessen is hotter than Sid.

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