Editor’s Note: With that title, we bet you’re expecting a critique of the late, great Susan Sontag’s seminal theses, Notes on Camp, or perhaps a more thorough appreciation of her oeuvre. Nope, we’re not that clever, or cultured for that matter. What brings us here today is litigation, or more precisely, the threat of litigation. Today’s author, Camilla, was our summer intern last season. Several months ago, a certain Johnny-come-lately Caps blogger, latlier than even us, launched a talent raid to bring Camilla into his fold, something called DC Sports Nexus. Mr. Ford, (AKA, Chris C-Ford), of no fixed address, is the gentleman behind Nexus, or whatever it’s called this week. Camilla is totally blameless in this unfortunate episode – she was lured into Mr. Ford’s tangled web with deceitful promises of fame, fortune and signed Matt Hendrick’s merch.
Camilla attended Development Camp on Tuesday and files the following. We’re late in publishing her work at the direction of our counsel, a team of vicious litigators from the K Street law firm, Engulf and Devour. This post (heretofore known as Exhibit 1) will no doubt factor into the complaint they expect to file next week in DC Superior Court, Civil Division. Our counsel’s notes, previously held under attorney-client work product privilege, are added to Camilla’s text below.
Yesterday was the second day of development camp and I saw the scrimmage in the second half of D-Camp. I’ve gotta say, the Caps are doing great with who they call. There’s some serious talent out there from the gritty, grinder types (Who knows, there could be the next Matt Hendricks we just haven’t found yet) to the stars like Galiev and Forsburg (HUGE steal!).
E&D: What exactly is a grinder? We’d ask the PuckBuddys, but their hockey acumen still seems to be lacking. Put an intern on it and report back ASAP.
Being the insane, hockey starved fan I am, I got my mom to take me to Kettler an hour early. Over kill, yes. Worth it? Totally. I got to see hockey players I didn’t know and was like “hey you, hockey player I don’t know the name of!” as well as help my poor mother, who decided going to a freezing cold rink without a jacket was a brilliant idea, pick out a suitable Caps sweatshirt.
E&D: The poor girl was “freezing.” Does Mr. Ford face any criminal action for child endangerment? Put an intern on that. Plan on deposing her mother too. This Ford guy has been making a spectacle of himself all week at the practice rink. I’m sure our private investigators have enough on him to write a book. Get their report ASAP.
After an hour of walking around Kettler, seeing random, unidentifiable players, figure skaters, and window shopping (my Caps store birthday wish-list is about a mile long) we finally got to see what we came for, hockey. I saw Oates doing his thing, observing the players and their skill set, how they play with the other guys, who’s a leader, basically how they could work in the Caps or one of their affiliates line up.
E&D: Those Caps jerseys are rather handsome. Check the employee handbook to see if they’re allowed on casual Fridays. And why are they called “sweaters?” “Oates doing his thing.” What exactly is a coach’s thing besides standing behind the bench, alternating between stone-faced expressions and nostril-flaring rage? Does anyone in this office know anything about hockey?
The overall game was pretty much text-book dump and chase. The first was a pretty laid back, fairly non-physical period with not a whole lot of feel it the next morning checks. While Red seemed to dominate the period over all, there was no score. I had a feeling after the first whatever team scored the first goal would most likely win.
E&D: “Dump and chase.” That would make a great name for a law firm! Can you believe we’re billing those jokers $700 an hour for this work? Let’s work it harder, spike the interns and put associates on the research. Eheheheheh! Can you say “Gravy Train?!”
As the game went on, and the players got increasingly antsy, the checks, dirty plays (some of those hooks were so obvious my dog could’ve called them), and over all pace of the game grew in intensity with Red scoring with 2:34 left in the first. Creating a solid lead that would stick with them the entire game.
E&D: Don’t we have a box at Verizon? Maybe we should take in one of those ice hockey sporting contests this year. When does it the season start? Winter, right? We’ll bill it back to the client. Spare no expense, get us seats on the 50 yard line. Does anyone in here know Leonsis?
The third was by far the most intense period of the game, play, grit, and just plain intensity wise. Of the break aways, Galiev had a pretty sweet one that would’ve resulted in a goal if Anderson hadn’t been on his toes. As the second waged on, the Red team got a bit feisty as Lafrate, who reminds me of fan favorite Perreault because of his stature, pushing guys practically double his size around. I like his spunk, not to mention he’s a “legacy” player.
E&D: “Legacy player?” I was a Yale legacy. Is that the same thing?
The Red team scored again doubling their lead at 2:14, making it an almost sure white wash and even surer win. The White team wasn’t going to let that happen and ran the net, resulting in a late goal with 4.7 seconds to go. While this game wasn’t the fastest paced, highest scoring game, the players on both teams were able to show their skill set without being puck hogs and it seems like the Caps have a promising future if they sign half of those guys with their lower level affiliates.
E&D: Prepare this month’s invoice for the client, and don’t let them dick you around on paying again. We’ll drop the complaint next week in court. Am I still on for 12:30 at The Capital Grille? Bill that to the client as well. I think this Camilla is pretty sharp. Sharper than our lay-about interns that are littering the suite this summer. See if she’s available for lunch next week. My usual table at The Palm.