Comments on: Clearing the Air, and Lifting a Weight from My Shoulders http://puckbuddys.com/2012/07/23/clearing-the-air-and-lifting-a-weight-from-my-shoulders/ Boys Who Like Boys Who Like Hockey Wed, 09 Oct 2013 20:03:46 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ By: goodbyepuckpie http://puckbuddys.com/2012/07/23/clearing-the-air-and-lifting-a-weight-from-my-shoulders/#comment-3033 Fri, 27 Jul 2012 08:15:37 +0000 http://puckbuddys.com/?p=8017#comment-3033 Thank you for sharing this — it must have taken a lot of courage, and I for one absolutely appreciate it. Best of luck in being able to continue to transition (I hope it’s far sooner rather than later that you’re in a position to safely move on!), and in being able to continue to stay involved with hockey as much as possible.

]]> By: JC http://puckbuddys.com/2012/07/23/clearing-the-air-and-lifting-a-weight-from-my-shoulders/#comment-3028 Wed, 25 Jul 2012 21:12:42 +0000 http://puckbuddys.com/?p=8017#comment-3028 Thank you for sharing this, Alyssa. These kinds of revelations help some of us to reconsider what it means to be honest with ourselves and the world. Best of luck to you.

]]> By: Renee http://puckbuddys.com/2012/07/23/clearing-the-air-and-lifting-a-weight-from-my-shoulders/#comment-3025 Wed, 25 Jul 2012 02:28:50 +0000 http://puckbuddys.com/?p=8017#comment-3025 My hope and prayer for you and all who must hide who they truly are, is that you will find the kind of love and acceptance in your life that will allow you to be who you were meant to be. I hope your heart will sing!!!

]]> By: Nat http://puckbuddys.com/2012/07/23/clearing-the-air-and-lifting-a-weight-from-my-shoulders/#comment-3024 Wed, 25 Jul 2012 01:24:57 +0000 http://puckbuddys.com/?p=8017#comment-3024 Fantastic post Alyssa. My brother is gay but in the closet, so I can appreciate the struggle of trying to figure out your identity and having to keep a part of you secret. I look forward to the day when we as a society have advanced to the point where sexual/gender identity doesn’t have to be a secret and is simply accepted.

Best of luck to you. Hopefully your finances will improve so that you can make the transition you’ve been waiting for.

Oh, and one more thing: Go Canucks Go! : )

-female Nucks fan from Vancouver

]]> By: Jess http://puckbuddys.com/2012/07/23/clearing-the-air-and-lifting-a-weight-from-my-shoulders/#comment-3023 Wed, 25 Jul 2012 01:10:45 +0000 http://puckbuddys.com/?p=8017#comment-3023 It’s always wonderful to hear a story about someone finding peace with themselves. Thank you for sharing your story, Alyssa! I’m quite sure that there is a woman who will read this story and feel the same way you did when you spoke to the trans woman you met at a bar. The truth has a wonderful power that way.

I wouldn’t give up on your playing career just yet. I can’t speak for everyone, of course, but the hockey girls I’ve had the good fortune to know have been some of the loveliest, most open minded people I know. It may take a few tries to find the right team, but I know there is a team out there for you.

Keep fighting the good fight!

<3 Jess

]]> By: lyssielovespuck http://puckbuddys.com/2012/07/23/clearing-the-air-and-lifting-a-weight-from-my-shoulders/#comment-3020 Tue, 24 Jul 2012 04:40:07 +0000 http://puckbuddys.com/?p=8017#comment-3020 Thank you everyone for your support and acceptance! It really means the world to me that there are so many people out there who accept me for me.

Julie, thank you so much for your support! Thank you for seeing me as the woman I am, not the man I look like (even though I’ve never posted a pic of me…lol).

Eklund, I’m nothing special. I’m just a girl with a dream. If that makes me courageous, then I guess you can call me courageous. I don’t see it that way, though. I just see me trying to be me, and letting the rest of the world handle that fact in their own way. I thank you for your kind words and show of support. It really means a lot to me.

Anon, thank you so much for sharing your friend’s story with me. It gives me hope for the future of my playing career. I only play recreationally, so I’m not looking for too much competition. As for coaching, I live in the midwest of the United States. Coaching a women’s college club team would be great, but most of the positions I have seen require more playing experience than I have. Either way, I will continue to apply for those jobs and hopefully land one. My other true passion is fashion design. I intent to pursue a career in fashion, specifically tailored for female hockey fans. :)

]]> By: Anon http://puckbuddys.com/2012/07/23/clearing-the-air-and-lifting-a-weight-from-my-shoulders/#comment-3019 Mon, 23 Jul 2012 21:30:11 +0000 http://puckbuddys.com/?p=8017#comment-3019 Please don’t give up on the idea of finding a place to continue playing! I actually have played with/against a trans woman before, and she is one of my favorite people in my local hockey community. Not everyone on the ice knows that she wasn’t born into a female body (which is why I’m posting this anonymously – it’s not my story to tell), but those of us who do know don’t care. If you’ve mostly been involved with men’s hockey in the past, you may be pleasantly surprised by how accepting women’s teams can be, at least at a recreational level. Most groups I’ve played with have embraced a wide variety of ages, sexual orientations, and experience levels – we’re all just happy to support the growth of women’s hockey. Most of us have had the experience of being made to feel like an outsider because of our gender in a heavily male-dominated sport, which I think primes us for embracing ‘difference’ in all its forms. We’re all just there to play the sport we love.

It may not be easy to find a place to play, but with the strength you’ve already had to develop, I can’t imagine that you won’t eventually succeed. You may have to make concessions of your own in the process (the woman I know is extremely conscientious about playing to the level of the others on the ice and not using her slapshot in a game with less experienced players), but I’m confident that you’ll find some way to continue playing and coaching. On the topic of coaching, it may be different in Vancouver (if that’s your city, not just your team), but many adult recreational and college club women’s teams in the US lack proper coaches. If it’s something that you’re passionate enough about to volunteer your time (or make very little money), I’m sure there are plenty of teams that would love to have you.

Congratulations on taking this step towards embracing who you truly are. I hope that you’re soon able to live the life that you’re striving towards, and that you’ll continue playing and coaching the sport you love.

]]> By: Eklund http://puckbuddys.com/2012/07/23/clearing-the-air-and-lifting-a-weight-from-my-shoulders/#comment-3018 Mon, 23 Jul 2012 20:12:36 +0000 http://puckbuddys.com/?p=8017#comment-3018 I very fully admire your courage Alyssa. You are who you are you have every right to be a woman. A proud woman.

Most people, regardless of sex and orientation battle with who they are than any other question. I have known plenty of perfectly straight people who have no idea who the hell they are and they are tortured by it. If there is any solace in your battle take solace in your understanding of yourself. You can’t make another living thing happy until you are happy with you.

My hope is through your courage and the courage the Burke’s (and YCP) have put forth that eventually some NHLers past and present come out so that at the least some barriers are smashed. There are some great NHLers on that list. Some very respected. A few are downright legends. There are even coaches and scouts.

But none have been willing to show your courage.

I know your battle stretches way beyond “coming out” and I so admire how understanding you are in your post towards the awkwardness of society. I really believe the fact you have the strength to hold such an higher level of understanding speaks greatly to your character.

As for the hockey world…you are always welcomed into the hockey world. I can honestly say that for every idiot there are ten great people in hockey. There really are. …(and I should know a bit about idiots!)

best,

Ek

]]> By: metricjulie http://puckbuddys.com/2012/07/23/clearing-the-air-and-lifting-a-weight-from-my-shoulders/#comment-3017 Mon, 23 Jul 2012 19:37:41 +0000 http://puckbuddys.com/?p=8017#comment-3017 “But in my heart I know that I am a woman.”

That is so wonderful to hear. The thing is, YOU define labels; labels don’t define you. You are a woman because you identify as one, whether you choose to do masculinity or femininity.

It takes a lot of courage to openly be who you truly are when who you are is misunderstood, so I want to offer you a hug (if hugs are okay) and thank you for sharing this tremendously personal piece of information with us. I know you are well surrounded with the PuckBuddys and the people at YCP.

Plus, anyone who digs Carey Price (“Apparently these women don’t appreciate a new twist on cowboy-chic, or a handsome man in a fine tailored suit”) is fine by me. :)

xoxoxo
Julie

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