Category Archives: Washington Capitals

3 Caps Youngsters: What to Expect, Sums or Bums?

With less than a fortnight separating we, the general plebeian populous, from the annual descent of the gods from Mt. Olympus that we deign to call the return of the NHL season, a fan’s fancy turns to thoughts of vulcanized … Continue reading

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Life’s Not Fehr: Why The Penguins Can Have Him

The Pittsburgh Penguins announced today that they had signed former Washington Capitals center and half-Rocky Dennis Eric Fehr to a three year contract worth $2 million per year.

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The Game’s Chess, It Ain’t Checkers: Holtby’s Strategic Move Takes the Capitals to Arbitration

Did you hear the air raid sirens and emergency broadcast not-a-tests this morning? Braden Holtby and the Caps are going to arbitration over the goaltender’s contract, and Holtby’s camp is reportedly demanding EIGHT MILLION DOLLARS per year. As I previously … Continue reading

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We Can Re-Sign Him: Braden Holtby, the Six Million Dollar Man

The Washington Capitals’ front office – and presumably their mid and rear offices as well, depending on how feng shuied Kettler is – and goaltender Braden Holtby are currently locked in contract negotiations that are reaching Kissingerian levels of tension. … Continue reading

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2015 Caps Trades: TJ to DC A-OK!

While Caps fans in DC are likely celebrating – with good reason – the announced trade that’s bringing Blues stand-out TJ Oshie to Washington next season, so too are longtime fans from his days playing at the University of North … Continue reading

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The Capitals Free Agents: Who to Sign, Who to Cut, and Who to Beg

WINE ‘EM DINE ‘EM AND SIGN ‘EM. Braden Holtby  And ye, Jesus did looketh down from the cross and spake thusly: “Lulz yall gonna pay me now.” Braden Holtby, as a southerner fanning himself on the veranda and drinking a mint julep might say, is about to get paiiiiyyyyyyyyyyyydddddddddddddduhhhhh. And … Continue reading

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Your Game 7 Caps-Rangers Drinking Game

IF Joel Ward makes a big play – Drink. IF Joel Ward’s butt makes a big play – Drink, shout “Hump Day!” IF Tom Wilson gets in a fight – Finish your drink, complain about how bad the Pacquiao-Mayweather fight was. IF … Continue reading

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These Capitals Are Making Me Thirsty!

It’s Not How You Start, It’s How You Finish (Unless It Is) The Washington Capitals have a bad habit: they ease into games, to borrow a phrase from the greatest television show of all time, “like an old man into … Continue reading

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A Capitals Fan Goes to the Doctor

DOCTOR: What brings you in today?   YOU: Hi, Doc. I guess I just want to know if it’s normal to feel this way, like if I have reason to be so excited. Have you, now or ever before, experienced sensations … Continue reading

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A Tale of Two Tough Guys, and the Return of “Liable to Libel”

Tom Wilson – Asset, or Ass? Tom Wilson: the most incendiary youngster to hit Washington since William Jefferson Clinton, and bane of the New York zeitgeist. Wilson’s wrecking ball style of play, characterized by the kind of wanton disregard for … Continue reading

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