Patient: Where…where am I?

Doctor: Easy now, baby steps as in you were just about to leave your BabyTrend Expedition Jogger stroller. You were in an accident, but you’re OK.

Patient: ….Vespa?

Doctor: Vespa.

Patient: Damn. How long have I been out?

Doctor: November 5th, so…five weeks.

Patient: I missed puck drop! I missed the first homestand! I missed Grabo!

Doctor: Sir, calm down! What are you – Grabo?

Heart Rate Monitor: Beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep

Patient: How the hell are the Caps doing?

And that’s exactly what we’d all like to know. A .500 team is a tough team to get a bead on. Neither “good” nor “bad,” “winning” nor “losing” fit right, and lazy labels are harder to place. So what if I were that coma patient? What if all I knew of this year’s model of the Caps was last Saturday’s 3-2 shootout victory over Florida? What wonderful extrapolations could I extrapolate?

Back-strom’s Back, Alright!

Nick “Quick Stick” Backstrom has been a top-shelf center since before shelves got so darn high, when you had to walk uphill in the snow both ways just to put something on them, and were happy to do so. His 16 points through 14 games put him on a pace that would end up just shy of triple digits, but that isn’t what’s surprising. It’s how quickly the magic is happening this year, and in what ratios.

Backstrom, like that cute boy in the eyeliner, has been hurt. Between a recent concussion and an ever-vague “upper body injury,” the Caps have struggled to keep the jaybird Backstrom dressed.

With no lockout rust, or injury rust, or new coach rust to shake off this year, America’s Swedeheart is cruising like a well-lubed Volvo. Nicky also has 5 goals already, 3 shy of his entire total last season, and on pace for his most since his only other 100-point season. Goals account for thirty-one percent of Backstrom’s points this year, the largest chunk since they made up thirty-two percent in – you guessed it – his last 100-point season.

This Is Bullschmidt, Do You Hear Me? Motherschultzing Bullschmidt!

As per my coma – and boy do I wish I had a nickel – I have no idea who this Nate Schmidt fella is. Seems like a nice guy. Probably loves his mama, loves horses, and his boyfriend, too. But watching him quiver nervously in the general direction of the puck carrier and call it defense gave me PTSD-esque flashbacks to Jeff Schultz, Mr. Dumb Double Nickel himself, the Original Shy Brontosaurus.

Schmidt was much more decisive with the puck than Schultz ever was – making quick, sharp breakout passes to turn things the other way – but I didn’t see him lay a body on someone all night. And I don’t just mean a devastating impact; I’d even settle for a tender caress. But all I saw Schmidt do as he happily allowed Florida to run its cycle was wave impotently with his stick as though bidding the puck safe travels, and maybe pee himself a little bit.

Schultz’s problem was that he had Reverse Chihuahua Syndrome – he was a great big dog that played like a tiny little mouse. An NHL defense, like a defensive line in football, is only effective when it creates pressure. If a puck carrier comes into your zone, he better feel as though he has three, four seconds tops to move the puck or else he’s getting freight trained. Put the fear of God into him, or else he has time to think of ways to beat you. Schmidt needs to get mean, and I don’t mean mathematically average.

Enter the Scoring Zone Carefully, But With Confidence

The above adage, like so many things, is true of both life and hockey. Remember the stymied series against Tampa Bay in which the neutral zone got clogged like so much frat house plumbing? Against Florida last Saturday, the Capitals were gaining the zone easier than the Freshman Fifteen. They say he who hesitates dies, and so it is with offensive hockey. Get across the blue line, then talk things out. Get across the blue line, then make your sweet deke move. Get across the blue line – well, you get it.

Adam Oates’ offense is predicated on small, quick movements that put the law of momentum in your favor. A pass and a reset may  seem like no net gain, but it takes a defense longer to react than it takes you to complete. That millisecond overlap where you’re ready to move again but they aren’t yet is where Oates beats you. But in order to run those plays, Oates’ offense – more than many others – requires control of the offensive zone. The Caps have been prioritizing gaining the stripe, and that’s a very good thing.

And so with the veil of coma-induced ignorance wrenched from mine eyes, I turn my sight now forward, to the coming week, and to a segment that Pope Francis once called “self-indulgent excess”:

LIABLE TO LIBEL: A BAKER’S DOZEN LIES ABOUT THIS WEEK’S OPPONENTS

1. New York Islanders players say that the ghost of Nassau Coliseum still haunts the new Barclays Center, because the showers smell like fishsticks and bronzer, and the team still sucks.

2. “Hurricane Sandy” is what fair-haired Islanders center Josh Bailey does to my heart.

3. The Islanders hold the coveted position of being New York’s seventh-most liked professional sports team

4. If Minnesota Wild goalie Niklas Bäckström stops Nicklas Bäckström in a shootout, the universe will implode in on itself until all matter is condensed into two singularities, arranged side-by-side, suspended above a vowel.

5. Paragon of scholarly insight, Ryan Suter agreed to sign with the Wild because he thought they were the Rangers’ AHL affiliate. Said Suter: “I mean, yeah, I figured if New York is the Big Apple, then Mini Appleous must be almost as good.”

6. The Wild attribute their recent success to the legacy of winning sports teams pioneered by the illustrious Timberwolves, Twins, and Vikings.

7. The Caps will face one Stoner on Thursday against the Wild, and then a bunch on Sunday in Colorado.

8. Phoenix did not sign Mike Ribeiro, so much as Mike Ribeiro made them an offer they couldn’t refuse.

9. In a marketing move designed to increase ticket sales among local Phoenix residents, the Coyotes will be hosting “Why Won’t Obama Pay for My Viagra?” and “Young People Are Terrible” Nights.

10. Coyotes winger Radim Vrbata skates so fast the vowels in his name don’t have time to catch up.

11. Despite popular belief, the Colorado Avalanche were not named as an homage to the region’s skiing and snow culture, but rather after the historical event “the Colorado Avalanche,” when thousands upon thousands of season tickets were cast off in unwanted piles the day Joe Sakic retired.

12. Patrick Roy tried to legally change his name to Patrick Wah-Wah. When he wasn’t allowed, he threw a tantrum.

13. Patrick Roy was named head coach of the Colorado Avalanche only after other local favorites John Elway and the actual physical Rocky Mountains were unavailable.

So that’s that, folks. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading and I look forward to watching the Capitals’ week play out. And as always, good night, good luck, and go Caps.

We fooled everyone in the office that Yom Kippur started on Thursday so we could play hooky on Friday to attend Day 2 (of 18) of Caps training camp. Hockey hooky!

Kettler was ice-cold, the crowd was light and the three groups of players, 70 69 in all (Brooks out with another lower body God-knows-what this time) worked hard all morning.

Group B doing sprints on the Arlington rink

A handful of scribes were on hand (we blended in well) and it was especially great to chat with CSN’s Joe B. He had some very novel ideas on how to improve the TV experience for the home viewer using unorthodox camera placements.

Katie Carrera, Mike Vogel, Adam Vingan and Joe Beninati with Eric Fehr

It was great having the run of those house to get some snapshots.

A pair of Johanssons

Ryan Stoa photobomb

Michael Latta, 1st rounder Andre Burakovsky and Ryan Stoa

Backstrom mid-stride: An angel takes flight.

Mike Green’s Thousand Yard Stare

Now, the entire city of Washington is balancing on that skate blade. Like the morning shift at a strip club, the Capitals’ season is up for grabs. It is a testament to how awful this team was at the start of the season that the playoffs are still not a sure thing despite this recent streak, but the way this lockout season will be remembered in Washington will be decided this week. Let’s get into it.

The Capitals play three games this week: against Toronto on Tuesday, at Ottawa on Thursday, and at Montreal on Saturday. Canada Week has begun in the nation’s capital like a syrup-soaked apology, and the Caps’ season is teetering on the precipice like a tipsy canuck sipping Molson. Yes, the Mighty Mighty Washington Capitals have won a league-best seven games in a row and are currently driving the Southeast division like the mad captain of a sinking ship.

We need to not kid ourselves, though; this baby is far from a sure thing. The Caps are only two points ahead of the eighth-place Rangers, and only four points ahead of fellow Southeast bottom-dweller Winnipeg. One loss, and we’ve slipped out of the top eight. Two losses, and it’s a long, lonely summer for the Capitals. That’s how close this thing is, so let’s not get too comfortable.

I’m going to propose two alternate realities to you: one optimistic, one pessimistic. Let’s examine how the next few months might play out if the Caps manage to cry havoc and let slip the dog sleds of war, tearing through Canada like the Keystone pipeline, and how things might go if the wheels fall off this Miata before we reach May.

Scenario 1: The Capitals Lose

A good groin is hard to come by in this town, and it comes back to bite the Caps. Brooks Laich never makes it back into the lineup, and his grit and good decision-making are sorely missed. Erat needs more than six games to learn a system it took the entire team several months to figure out, and he isn’t able to produce enough to fill the void. As a result, tough customers Matt Hendricks and Jason Chimera are brought back up to the top line to inject some sort of testosterone-driven urgency into the team, but everyone forgets that they can’t score.

Meanwhile the defense, like a non-profit pimp, gives away too many scoring chances. John Carlson is hearing the calls from Hollywood for his services as a carpet cleaning spokesman, and that extra time on set is less time on the ice. Ol’ Spike Strip reverts to his early season habit of blowing tires on the back check, and Jack Hillen, like Obi Wan wailing that Anakin was supposed to be the chosen one, is unable to save him. The Capitals implode like a neutron star, and there are no playoffs this year for DC.

It’s a long off-season in Washington. The old echoes of “no top-six talent” come floating back like the damned wails of the ghost of Jacob Marley. This time, George McPhee can’t claim he’s backloading for the future; Filip Forsberg has by now been elected mayor of Nashville and has cut a platinum album with Carrie Underwood. 

GMGM, breaking out in a cold sweat, runs to his red emergency phone and dials the Too-Good-For-Their-Age-Defensemen Hotline in Hershey, but there is no answer. Hershey has no more young studs to send to Washington to shore up our defenses; the well has finally run dry.  McPhee collapses on the floor of his office, and is shaken awake by an aid. “It’s Kuznetsov,” the aid whispers. “He says he’s not coming anymore.”

Meanwhile, Ovi and Maria spend the offseason on a goodwill tour, visiting theme parks and defeating all comers in any conceivable athletic endeavor. Alex Semin pens his tell-all memoir, and Ted Leonsis declares that the Wizards are now his top priority.

There is no joy in Mudville in this scenario. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

Scenario 2: The Capitals Win

The Caps make poutine out of Toronto and Ottawa, and Montreal cries “merde!” as Ovechkin rolls over them without a thought like so much English grammar. Meanwhile, our centers keep making plays. Mike Ribeiro only knows how to move two things: pucks, and attitude, and he moves plenty of both. He and Backstrom make more assists than the staff of a retirement community, and the offense keeps clicking like Jaromir Jagr’s hip. The power play continues to utterly overpower opponents, and Adam Oates writes a hit song called “I Told Y’all So.”

On the other side of the puck, Alzner keeps squeezing dudes against the boards like a cruise ship activity director and Mike Green finally realizes, “Wait, I’m on defense?” Holtby and Neuvirth are called on to make fewer saves than a Las Vegas priest, and trash is cleared from in front of the net faster than you can say “Orlov.” With the ability to move the puck quickly out of their own zone, and deftly around once in the attacking zone, the ice begins to tilt for the Capitals and good times are here.

Oh, and Ovi wins the Hart.

With an offensive savant behind the bench and a newly dedicated cast of players executing properly, this Capitals juggernaut could really make a run into the playoffs. The Capitals were a team sans identity last year, and they were still able to knock off the defending champs. As we saw with the Kings last year, it’s all about getting hot at the right time. The Capitals were slower to get up to speed this year than an Eli Whitney cotton gin, but with all the pieces in place and players coming back from injuries, the Caps are rolling downhill and have won 11 of their last 13 games.

When they get into the playoffs, they will face a field of five mediocre eastern conference teams, and three bona fide contenders (Pittsburgh, Boston and Montreal). For the Penguins, Crosby and Malkin are hurt, and as deep as that team is, the Pens need those guys. The Caps have beaten both Boston and Montreal this year, the latter in Montreal. There is not a team in the league that wants to play the Washington Capitals in the first round, and that is a new development.

So What Should I Look For This Week?

Watch the urgency with which the team is playing. When the Caps nearly collapsed in the third period in what should have been a blow out against Tampa Bay, it was because they reverted to their worst habit: the patented “lazy pass to no one.” Hockey is tiring. I play the sport, I get it. But most of the Capitals’ woes come from an unwillingness to skate hard to make the play that is available. It is easier to make an outlet pass to someone else and hope they do the work. But you will not ever win hockey games that way, period. As I’ve said, hockey is a game of a million consequent nows. If you see the Caps busting their asses to win little battles that you aren’t even sure are important, be glad and take courage. If you see them limping their way through the neutral zone and turning over a lot of passes, be worried.

A week from now, we’ll have a very good idea whether or not the Capitals are going to make the playoffs, and how deep they have a shot to go if they do. I don’t know about you, but if I have to watch baseball for the next two months, I’m going to scream. For that reason alone, I say, Go Caps.

The Washington Capitals are having the red-headed step-child of hockey seasons and we’re only halfway through. Of the 30 teams in the NHL, the lockout was perhaps most detrimental to the Capitals, and it is most apparent that this is not Adam Oates’ team, or rather, not the team he would like to have.

Oates is making lemonade with the lemons GMGM and fate dealt him. Sometimes, it’s damn good lemonade, sweet and icy-cold refreshment. But mostly, it’s been terrible lemonade, rather bitter. Jay Beagle couldn’t sell that stuff even if he set up a stand outside of Kettler with Troy Brouwer’s beagles. It’s that bad. There have been a few stars spattered amidst the black sky that has shrouded the first half of the lockout-tainted season, and generous eruptions of rainstorms in equal measure.

Alex Ovechkin notched his first hat trick in two years against the Devils on February 23, marking what appeared to be a rebirth of his offensive prowess. Don’t tell Milbury. I’m not even sure he knows that it happened. Ovechkin also appears to have adjusted to playing on the right wing, and hadn’t run into his any of his teammates until at least Sunday, when the New York Rangers visited Verizon Center. He drifted left and knocked over Matt Hendricks, First Line Left Winger.

Oh, then he missed a check in the neutral zone and Holtby allowed a bad goal but it was still somehow Ovechkin’s fault. Or at least that’s what NBC told me for the next two hours. I don’t know what to believe anymore. I mean, he should have gone for the contact, but it didn’t have an effect on whether the goal was scored.

Mike Ribeiro has been fantastic when he’s not yapping at referees and taking double minors for sassiness. At 28 points, he is the Capitals leading scorer. He is a wily, squirrely puck possession master and his playmaking abilities as well as his chemistry with Ovechkin have proved to be prolific for the Capitals. Granted, that hasn’t translated into as much success, obviously, as we’d like to see, but that is in part due to not having a true first-line left wing.

All-around good guy Eric Fehr is exceeding expectations and has more than earned his 1-year, $600k contract. Any overtime game winner against those horrible, punky Boston Bruins is priceless. Someone give this guy a raise. Or a new shoulder. He deserves both.

Braden Holtby has often been the glue holding the team together during games when the defense has been less than stellar, which, let’s face it, has been pretty terrible a lot of times. (Miss you, Mike Green). It’s clear he wants to be #1 and it’s clear the organization wants him to be #1. Despite a few ugly starts, and getting pulled twice, he’s been brilliant overall.

Adam Oates, though coaching an oddly assembled team, has implemented his mysterious system, and it appears everyone has bought into what he’s been peddling. Let’s face it, these guys would be nowhere without this veritable hockey Einstein on their bench. Imagine what Oates could do with legitimate first and second lines. With the ample third and fourth line players, he could roll four distinct lines every night, instead of having to play musical skates or draw straws to see who’s going to end up on Ovechkin’s line.

Trade deadline time, April 3, is approaching, and George McPhee will probably not do a thing. Or he might. He’s a shifty guy. You never know what he’s going to do next.
I’d look for Ribeiro to be re-signed for at least a two-year extension – thanks to Ryan Getzlaf’s spanking-new 8-year, $66mil contract, the price of UFA centers went up a little bit. It all depends on the money. It could also go the way of a trade. Ribeiro’s value is high at the moment, and the Capitals could get a good return on that value. However, Ribeiro has said he likes DC and wants to keep his family here, so he may spring for an extension, even if it’s not a generous pay raise. He’s making $5 million on his current one-year deal, so a 2 or 3-year, $5.5 or $5.75mil per year deal would be reasonable.

It is undeniable that the Capitals need a top-line caliber left wing. There is a noticeable drop-off talent-wise once you get past Ovechkin, Ribeiro and Backstrom. There’s no one else to score goals. That is a huge need if the Capitals are going to get close to playoff contention, but will likely be expensive. It is possible McPhee was laying the groundwork for some type of movement by clearing defenseman Roman Hamrlik’s salary off the books, giving them a little extra wiggle room, but that remains to be seen. GMGM is notorious for staying quiet on trade deadline day, quieter than even the most tight-lipped GM.

I have the space to talk about all the bad things that have happened so far, but I won’t dwell there. We’ve seen all of it far too frequently, and while there’s no need to gloss over the Capitals failures, there is also no need to linger. Just as the team has a short time after each to review what went wrong, learn, and move on before the next one, so should we. Pace yourselves. One game at a time. The Islanders and Rangers games weren’t great. Actually, worse than weren’t great. Just as the Capitals had a change to gain some ground in the flaming dumpster fire that is the Southeast Division, they set themselves back. Again.

Weird season or not, the playoffs are slowly slipping out of reach for the Capitals. While 21 points in the Southeast is good enough for third and is one point ahead of the abysmal Panthers, it’s not going to get you anywhere near playoff contention. The Winnipeg Jets have a better shot at the moment, being second in the Southeast with 26 points.

And chew on this for a while – the Montreal Canadiens are first in the Eastern Conference with 38 points. Ugh, since when were they good? Even Toronto has 31 points. I’ll stop there before your head explodes. The NHL is clearly an alternate universe in which teams who were formerly laughable are now doing well. That doesn’t explain Pittsburgh being good, but whatever. 

Also, Alex Semin, I mean, the Carolina Hurricanes are in first in the Southeast with 29 points. They boast the hottest line combination in the NHL at the moment. No, really, they’re figuratively on fire. Semin-E.Staal-Tlusty, coming Tuesday to a Verizon Center near you.

The last time the Hurricanes dropped in, Semin was booed heartily each time he even got a whiff of the puck. The Capitals won 3-0, but the Canes shouldn’t be taken lightly, regardless. They’re 6-4-0 in their last 10 contests, and 14-9-1 overall. Semin-E. Staal-Tlusty have 32 goals between them thus far. That’s kinda good.  Just wait until Semin scores his first goal against his former team. Everyone will definitely hate him. Or the Capitals will try to re-sign him. Jeff Schultz for Alex Semin? Seems fair.

Okay, go ahead and please spit out whatever you were chewing on. It’s probably poutine. Toxic. Apologies.

Camilla attended Development Camp on Tuesday and files the following. We’re late in publishing her work at the direction of our counsel, a team of vicious litigators from the K Street law firm, Engulf and Devour. This post (heretofore known as Exhibit 1) will no doubt factor into the complaint they expect to file next week in DC Superior Court, Civil Division. Our counsel’s notes, previously held under attorney-client work product privilege, are added to Camilla’s text below.

Yesterday was the second day of development camp and I saw the scrimmage in the second half of D-Camp. I’ve gotta say, the Caps are doing great with who they call. There’s some serious talent out there from the gritty, grinder types (Who knows, there could be the next Matt Hendricks we just haven’t found yet) to the stars like Galiev and Forsburg (HUGE steal!).

E&D: What exactly is a grinder? We’d ask the PuckBuddys, but their hockey acumen still seems to be lacking. Put an intern on it and report back ASAP.

Being the insane, hockey starved fan I am, I got my mom to take me to Kettler an hour early. Over kill, yes. Worth it? Totally. I got to see hockey players I didn’t know and was like “hey you, hockey player I don’t know the name of!” as well as help my poor mother, who decided going to a freezing cold rink without a jacket was a brilliant idea, pick out a suitable Caps sweatshirt.

E&D: The poor girl was “freezing.” Does Mr. Ford face any criminal action for child endangerment? Put an intern on that. Plan on deposing her mother too. This Ford guy has been making a spectacle of himself all week at the practice rink. I’m sure our private investigators have enough on him to write a book. Get their report ASAP.

After an hour of walking around Kettler, seeing random, unidentifiable players, figure skaters, and window shopping (my Caps store birthday wish-list is about a mile long) we finally got to see what we came for, hockey. I saw Oates doing his thing, observing the players and their skill set, how they play with the other guys, who’s a leader, basically how they could work in the Caps or one of their affiliates line up.

E&D: Those Caps jerseys are rather handsome. Check the employee handbook to see if they’re allowed on casual Fridays. And why are they called “sweaters?” “Oates doing his thing.” What exactly is a coach’s thing besides standing behind the bench,  alternating between stone-faced expressions and nostril-flaring rage? Does anyone in this office know anything about hockey?

The overall game was pretty much text-book dump and chase. The first was a pretty laid back, fairly non-physical period with not a whole lot of feel it the next morning checks. While Red seemed to dominate the period over all, there was no score. I had a feeling after the first whatever team scored the first goal would most likely win.

E&D: “Dump and chase.” That would make a great name for a law firm! Can you believe we’re billing those jokers $700 an hour for this work? Let’s work it harder, spike the interns and put associates on the research. Eheheheheh! Can you say “Gravy Train?!”

As the game went on, and the players got increasingly antsy, the checks, dirty plays (some of those hooks were so obvious my dog could’ve called them), and over all pace of the game grew in intensity with Red scoring with 2:34 left in the first. Creating a solid lead that would stick with them the entire game.

E&D: Don’t we have a box at Verizon? Maybe we should take in one of those ice hockey sporting contests this year. When does it the season start? Winter, right?  We’ll bill it back to the client. Spare no expense, get us seats on the 50 yard line. Does anyone in here know Leonsis?

The third was by far the most intense period of the game, play, grit, and just plain intensity wise. Of the break aways, Galiev had a pretty sweet one that would’ve resulted in a goal if Anderson hadn’t been on his toes. As the second waged on, the Red team got a bit feisty as Lafrate, who reminds me of fan favorite Perreault because of his stature, pushing guys practically double his size around. I like his spunk, not to mention he’s a “legacy” player.

E&D: “Legacy player?”  I was a Yale legacy. Is that the same thing?

The Red team scored again doubling their lead at 2:14, making it an almost sure white wash and even surer win. The White team wasn’t going to let that happen and ran the net, resulting in a late goal with 4.7 seconds to go. While this game wasn’t the fastest paced, highest scoring game, the players on both teams were able to show their skill set without being puck hogs and it seems like the Caps have a promising future if they sign half of those guys with their lower level affiliates.

E&D: Prepare this month’s invoice for the client, and don’t let them dick you around on paying again. We’ll drop the complaint next week in court. Am I still on for 12:30 at The Capital Grille? Bill that to the client as well.  I think this Camilla is pretty sharp. Sharper than our lay-about interns that are littering the suite this summer. See if she’s available for lunch next week. My usual table at The Palm.

“In any given NHL season, there are anywhere from four to ten teams with a legitimate shot at winning the Stanley Cup.

After 47 games, I’m fairly certain the New Jersey Devils (as currently constructed) are not one of those teams.

It’s likely they’ll make the playoffs, but I don’t see them making any kind of charge at the fourth Cup in franchise history.  “Why”, you ask.

They can’t beat good teams.  As noted hockey fan Theodor Geisel once said, “They can’t beat them at home, they can’t beat them in Nome. Their field service management is inadequate on the ice.  They can’t beat them on the road, they can’t beat them with a toad.”  (Really.  He said it to me at a Rangers-Leafs game a while back.)

Alexei Ponikarovsky

The trade for Alexei Ponikarovsky makes it seem like the Devils consider themselves contenders, which seems desperate – which isn’t surprising, when you consider the financial struggles (here’s a nice synopsis) and their strong desire to retain Zach Parise, who maintains that his primary requirement for his next contract is to play for a team that will compete for the Stanley Cup. 

It’s important that they put up a good front, but the proof is going to be on the ice and I just don’t think they have the team to make any kind of playoff run. “Why”, you ask again.  (Seriously, you’re like a 5 year old with all the “Whys”). Here’s why, ya rotten kid.

The Goaltending ain’t good enough.  Brodeur (2.84 GAA/.893 SV%) simply isn’t playing at an “elite” level (or even a “good enough” level) to lead a team through the playoffs.  No way, no how.  And Hedberg’s been good (2.45/.909), but he’s probably not the answer here, either. The Devils are not a good 5-on-5 team.  According to behindthenet.ca, the Devils are the 5th worst team in the league at full strength.  The four teams below them?  The Oilers, Sabres, Blue Jackets and (sorry Vinny) Islanders – not exactly playoff teams.  This might not be so bad, except… The Devils are downright awful when they have the man advantage.

Adam Oates

So awful that behindthenet says that if the Devils were 5-on-4 for an entire 60 minutes, they would only outscore their opponents by 1.9 goals (Vancouver, by comparison, would outscore their opponents by 7.6 goals).  They’ve managed to cut down on the shorthanded goals against recently, now it’s time to score more PPG.  There’s too much offensive talent on this roster for this power play to be so bad.  Some have repeatedly called for Adam Oates to be relieved of his PP coaching duties (cough, cough, ILWT, cough) and it’s hard to argue with them.

Zach Parise

Hopefully, the Devils will continue beating on the weaker teams and make the playoffs.  Considering their financial status, the bonus money (tickets , concessions, etc.) provided by two (or, fingers crossed, more than two) home playoff games would mean a lot to the franchise.

The Devils continue their longest home stand of the season (6 games, they’re 1-3 so far) with a shoot out loss against the Sabres Tuesday, ugh.  If you’re local, you should get to The Rock –  these may be the last chances to see Zach Parise in a red and black sweater.”

Brian looks good in any color sweater so follow him on twitter: @trot71