When the Ryan Kesler nude pic story first splashed last week, our Vancouver bureau chief’s reporting dominated the first news cycles and he was responsible for the biggest traffic day in PuckBuddys history.  A week later, @GayCanuck, still owns the story. Kesler’s rippling muscles is the picture that launched a thousand parodies. -Craig

An ass and... an ass. Lookin' good, Grapes!

“Ryan Kesler’s nude photo for ESPN Magazine may have been a 24-hour curiosity in his home country, but here in Canada it has become national news. There on the CBC National evening news two days ago was anchor Peter Mansbridge reporting on Ryan Kesler’s rippling, nude, athletic body while the photo was broadcast on television screens across the country. Nearly every national Canadian newspaper — as well as every newspaper in British Columbia — had something to say about Kesler’s muscular, toned ass.

The blogosphere was first to explode with news about Kesler’s nude photo when a photo of the magazine spread surfaced online two days before ESPN’s “Body Issue” was officially released on October 7.

That spawned thousands of blog articles, most by straight men clinging to the hope that within 24 hours they would no longer have to write about or look at that photograph ever, ever, EVER again.

Instead, a whole Nude Kesler meme has sprung to life among Canucks fans, bloggers and sports writers.

Courtesy: Pass it to Bulis

Naturally, this meme has taken the form of Photoshopping Kesler’s nude body onto other photos. Some of them are downright funny, others are slightly disturbing.

Of the funnier ones I found, it’s a toss-up between the laughing Sedins and the image that shows Ryan superimposed on a screen shot of a hockey game on TV that just happens to be displaying “Too Much Man” below the score.

Courtesy: Pass it to Bulis

In what looks like the opening scene from a Bel Ami movie, another image shows Luongo, in full goalie gear, hosing down Nude Kesler in someone’s swanky back yard with the caption “Shower! Shower! Shower!”

And in the Creepy category is the image of Gary Bettman with two Nude Keslers hanging from him like baby monkeys.

No Canucks hockey meme would be complete without a riot photo. In one of the more creative mashups, Ryan has been inserted into the foreground of that iconic image of the lovers pushed to the ground during the Vancouver hockey riot.

And then there’s the Blingee image I discovered on Tumblr which looks to have been created by a Bieber-loving tween. Covered in “I You” graphics, it depicts Nude Kesler with … Nude Chara! It’s quite unsettling while being oddly alluring at the same time.

Even Lululemon got in on the act, releasing it’s own spoof of Nude Kesler using their Amabassador, Jenn Thiel, as the naked model.

How are Ryan’s teammates handling all this attention to his butt-nakedness? By teasing him, of course! During a recent open practice at Rogers Arena, Kevin Bieksa went up to the open microphone and announced to everyone in attendance: “I hope you enjoyed the practice as much as you enjoyed Kesler’s nudes.” Indeed!

What started as a “Kesler photo-bomb” — where Ryan pops into view, shirtless and mugging for the camera, during post-game interviews with teammates — has now morphed into a full-fledged Nude Kesler movement that doesn’t appear to be slowing down. No, it’s only just begun.

Courtesy: @TheStanchion

Where will Nude Kesler appear next? With Halloween around the corner, perhaps the Canucks Store will sell Nude Kesler costumes, which would include only a large, foam block of granite.

I’m certain the Green Men will use Nude Kesler against opponents in the penalty box to great effect.

And for Don Cherry, I’ve gone to the trouble of designing a new jacket for him that’s covered in little nude Keslers that he can wear for HNIK: Homo Nucks Into Kesler.

And I’ll be first in line to buy the Nude Kesler bobble-head. Or will it be called a bobble-butt?:

-We insist that you follow our man in Van on twitter: @GayCanuck

So first off – what an f-ing game!  Almost everything you could ask for: great work in the net by Neuvy, terrific effort up and down the lines, Good Sasha, and a big fat win.  Some may groan about it being such a low-scoring affair, but we say frack off.  That first power play?  Didn’t yield anything except a reminder of how much we heart John Erskine.  The Backstrom slapper to Lundqvist?  How about an order of Swedish Special sauce on that?  In all, our Caps played with pepper throughout, stuck to the plan, and gave Coach Boudreau the best excuse yet to spill jelly on his tie.  Boyd Gordon?  Totally shelled Lundqvist.  And how good was it to see Green back on skates? 

Another thing – from where we were sitting (in the man-cave) it seemed the crowd never waivered.  Each blocked shot, each moment of disappointment, they came roaring back louder than before (even though the towels idea smells a bit much of Pittsburgh.)  If you don’t want your guys to tire, you better not give up in the stands, and they didn’t.

The parade continued this morning when we were checking headlines online and found this from the Washington Post:

“Washington Post: Game 1: Semin blast propels Caps in overtime”

Sadly, someone tipped them off and they’ve scrubbed any references of “Semin” and “blast” from their site.

Best of all, we get to say: “Don Cherry, eat it!”  When our Russians weren’t busy scoring, they were setting up someone else to do so – or at least try really hard.  Ovi’s Sabre dance has now been replaced by his victory thump – as in when he playfully threw Sasha to the ice (as if he doesn’t spend enough time there anyway.)

Courtesy and copyright the amazing Geoff Burke

In short: we love our Russians.  And we assumed Russians did, too.  But maybe not so much.

For a while we’ve been kicking around an idea of interviewing someone from VOA’s Russian service about how they’re covering the playoffs – and their homies forming the core of the Caps.  (Yes, PuckBuddy Doug also works at VOA, but we thought they might be better than, say, RT because VOA’s audience is strictly Russian.)

So we noted this story yesterday on VOA’s Russian site, and it raised some questions.  (Last parenthetic: VOA Russian now only exists online following Pootie-Poot‘s decision to scrub Russian airwaves of anything VOA.)

OK, we don’t read Cyrillic either, but Google does. Well…kinda.  The lede – “Became known to all the teams that will participate in the NHL playoffs” – reads more like a Yakov Smirnov set-up.   And the subhead – “Washington Capitals (the first number of seed) vs. New York Rangers (eighth edition of planting)” – gives off  a slightly smelly-hippie whiff.  Thanks for that, Google!

But here’s our questions.  One, this – and just about every other NHL story on the site – was written from Moscow.  Moscow? Wouldn’t someone a little…closer…to the actual games get a little more of the feel of what’s happening?

And two, there was an odd omission in the section on the Caps.  See what you think:

“Despite the status of the favorite, analysts did not rush to give the victory of “Capital”, which lost to Rangers’ three games in a row with a total score of 1:15.  Big factor in the outcome of the series will play Rangers goalie Henrik “King” Lundqvist – whether a star Rangers play at the highest level in several games after tiring of a series of 26 matches in the starting lineup and arduous struggle for getting into the playoffs?  Also important is whether “Capital” ready to play in the playoffs under new defensive system imposed by the club’s coach Bruce Boudreau in the course of the season?”

Yes, a lot of eyes were on Lundqvist, duh.  But an equal amount of scrutiny fell on Russian sons Ovechkin and Semin (and no doubt Varly too, had he played.)  Arguably even before the game, they were the deal-makers or breakers.  Beside – they’re Russian!  Wouldn’t Russian hockey fans in Russia be interested in Russian hockey players in America?

Whatever.  We just want to say “Thanks, Russia!” for sending a few of your treasures our way.

UPDATE: Apparently, we’re NOT alone.  Check out this coverage of Sasha’s OTGWG by a Russian sportscaster.  We can make out: “Vaushinkton Cahpitahls”, “Gooal” and “Seymin.”

The Hardest Working Man in Show Business: The Ovechcam operator last night.

Alex surfing a Blue wave: Toronto Star - Vince Talotta

It was a big TV night north of the border; solid numbers in the key demos and a sizable share, even though Caps fans in the DC viewing market had to hunt for the game.

Alex and Nicky Abelimages - Getty

The DVR here got a workout; we wanted to relive those many highlights and do our own slo-mo replays. (No pun intended).

The game evolved like many had hoped; an early lead, buttressing that edge with a few more goals, coupled with stunning displays of defense and net-minding.

A three-game road trip with six points on the line yielded five.  We like those numbers, even though the goal totals last night and on the Island were a little soft considering the weakness of the opposition.

Number 70 On The Ice, But Number One In Our Hearts: “And Holtby makes the Save!” “Another glove save by Holtby!”  “Pad save, Holtby!” 

Heart Throb Hot B Holtby: Darren Calabrese - AP

We never got tired of hearing that last night.  35 stops in all, 18 in the last frame – when it really mattered. 

Locker called it a “coming out party,” for the SK native.  What a troika of young goalies this team is blessed with.  Already there’s talk of the heathy returns of Neuvy and Varly and what it means for Braden’s near-term future.  Whether he’s in DC or Hershey, this kid gave us some nice memories this week and it’s comforting to know he’s just a phone call and a short ride away.  And speaking of eventual returns, when Sasha and Eric get back, there will be some more tough decisions to be made.

Enough is Never Phaneuf: The collective hope among Caps fans is that Alex is back. 

OV Nicky Carly Party Canadian Press - Darren Calabrese

It was quite a display from the Caps’ Captain last night: His first hat trick since last season, his 10th career and first multi-goal game since October.

He was all over the ice.  Sometimes it’s hard to get worked up over an empty-netter, but last night Alex had to work for that one as the clock wound down: he took a shot against the board, swerved around one Leaf then finally moved past Dion Phaneuf for the goal.

Man Bites Dog: Was that Matt Hendricks with the fake, curl, drag and score?  

After taking a shot to the nose from Leaftwit and noted gangster, Mike Brown, Matt later quieted the Air Canada Arena with a pretty sweet display of neutral zone thievery and scoring.

Hendy Score Abelimages - Getty

Dog Bites Man: The game-time tweeters who were monitoring the CBC brodcast of the game said Don Cherry was being a dick. No kidding. Some sharpies in Capsblogistan managed to pull this screen grab of a kid who really needs a better role model.

"I never met a TV test pattern I didn't like" Courtesy mkpanda78 via RMNB

The Boys In The Band(wagon): It was a whole team effort last night, one that everyone hopes will continue in the out weeks, starting with Monday’s game @ Verizon with the Rangers. Maybe the kinks are worked out and the new lines are working more seamlessly. Whatever the formula that has worked this week, the next few games may foreshadow where we are come springtime. 

First Things Last: Happy 32 to Number 23. 

The jokers at both ends of Pennsylvania Avenue may be looking to make cuts in the nation’s defense budget, but the Capitals Defense looks mighty robust after we spirited Scott away from Colorado. Take the day off, dude. 

That trade meant we lost the Flash to the Avs and the news this week of his embolisms was tough.  Just recently, an ECHL player, Mitch Fadden, the Florida Everblades’ top scorer, was diagnosed with a blood clot in his leg.  He too, will miss the remainder of the year.  Speedy recoveries to both and we look forward to squaring off against you guys next season.

Speaking of D, happy 100th game to Karl Alzner.

What a week for the Caps. And what a season for DC’s two Boys in the Pipes- Semyon Varlamov and Michael Neuvirth.

Photo courtesy The Canadian Press/Jeff McIntosh

First Neuvirth, our 22-year-old Czech import, was called up from the Hershey Bears to fill for an injured Varlamov – and he doesn’t just excel, he wins October Rookie of the Month.  It’s been a thrill watching this kid respond to some of the shellings he’s received and rarely get psyched out of his cup. And we confess, we’ve always had a certain fondness for various Czech imports.  We’re talking about the beer, Marys.

And now today the other half of our Net team, Semyon Varlamov is named the NHL’s first Star of the Week…this less than two weeks after more or less returning to the ice following what may by a Neuvirth injury.  It’s been a hell of a holiday season for the big Russian (though no less of a kid than Neuvirth) with one shut-out against Montreal, followed of course by his star-making performance at Heinz Field.

Everyone on the team is crucial – we’ve seen what lapsed defense can mean for the score.  But the goalies have it extra…and these two guys have had moments where they’re dazzling.  Whatever your leg workout regimen boys, keep it up.

And we just can’t pass by another shot at Russian-hater Don Cherry.  He may turn up his nose, but in our eyes the Caps European delegation has more than shown their value.  (Now if we can just get Sasha on the board again…)