For the last five years, PuckBuddys have been fortunate enough to cover one of professional hockey’s biggest events – the NHL Draft. Sure, fans can watch it from home – the awkward smiles, the hockey brass cutting deals, the booing of Gary Bettman, it’s all there. But to attend in person is to get a much clearer look behind the curtain as to all the things that make this game, and league, all that it is. 

This year’s draft was in Tampa, and we asked PuckBuddys contributor Eric Pinder – a.k.a. “Operahockeyguy” – to manage our coverage. He did a great job; below is his comprehensive wrap of this year’s draft, and a look back at the 2014-15 season.

First born children are photographed endlessly in the best wagons for kids, in nauseatingly “cute” settings, and their exploits filmed and shared ad nauseum while the next kids have increasingly less documentation. And so it goes with the NHL Draft. The first round picks are lauded and photographed onstage next to smiling team officials while the second rounders and up are hustled through the process and seem to get less of the attention. Although it does make Day Two go by quicker, I can vouch for that.

This was a really good hockey season for me personally. I became the hockey commentator for the show “After Further Review” on CBS Sports radio here in Orlando. And I was chosen as a Bolts Social Captain in November, meaning that I was the de facto social media cheerleader for the game against Columbus. The Lightning did lose that game which would indicate I won’t be asked back to perform those duties. (Kudos to the Lightning organization for choosing an openly gay blogger and not caring about any potential backlash.)

The author and the LSP

The Lightning had a pretty nice season as well, ending up only two wins from a Stanley Cup. (I still can’t really talk about it. Emotions still raw, bitter aftertaste lingers, etc) Myself and Long Suffering Partner (LSP) went to Game 2 of Round 1 versus the Detroit Red Wings where I wore a Lightning jersey and rooted against my hometown team, thus garnering the wrath of several school chums. (Bullying me still)

Through a quirk of fate, I was in Montreal during the first round and I scored a ticket to their Game 5 versus the Senators. I wore my Lightning jersey to that game as well and endured some heckling in French (and dubious sounding French-Canadian accents). The joke was on Montreal though, as the Lightning managed to defeat them in Round 2.

A true highlight was getting tickets for Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Final where the Bolts defeated the Blackhawks in a thrilling 4-3 match. The only downside was it cost us $942 on the secondary ticket market thus pushing our wedding plans back a few months as we have to save up money to provide an open bar – I know my friends all too well.

So it was great to end the season (or begin the new one if you are an optimist) by attending the NHL Draft in Sunrise, Florida, home of the Florida Panthers. (Motto: You Can Buy Rats In Our Gift Shop!) Thanks to the good folks at the NHL (Shout out to Nicole Buckley!) I was provided with actual media credentials! Zone 2! I had my own assigned seat next to actual press folks!

Yup! We were official! (Photo: Eric Pinder)

Ever better, my seat was on the end near where the NHL staff and team personnel went to their special zone, meaning it was a constant parade of famous (and infamous) coaches, scouts, GM’s and various lackeys. I witnessed Patrick Roy and Ron Hextall shake hands right in front of me! They didn’t break out into a fight which was disappointing, but that probably would’ve been gilding the lily.

I set up the following rules for the weekend. Number one: I would not ask for pictures or autographs from anyone (unprofessional). This included taking selfies as a player walked by. Number two: I would stay out of the way of the actual media as they have a job to do, and let’s face it, I’m merely a well-informed amateur.

Number three: I would get all the free food and snacks I could manage. (#StarvingArtist) I did avoid the pastries for breakfast on day two, but had a bagel instead. So, still carbs, but I had it plain with no butter or cream cheese just to feel a bit better about myself. (BTW, what were those sketchy looking strawberries doing in the fruit basket? Were they from last year’s Strawberry Festival?) And while I had no hard and fast rule about heckling Pierre McGuire, I decided against it as I did not want to get kicked out and miss out on more food.

Arriving at the BB&T Center at 5pm on Friday meant that I had missed out on the media welcome dinner the night before. (Next time) But I quickly found my seat and got the lay of the land – figuring out how to get to the interview area quickly, where the bathroom was, etc. To my chagrin, I discovered late on day two that it was quicker to walk up to the concourse behind me and use the restrooms located right there. Ah well, that meant I got enough walking in to nullify the bagel.

The draft is far better live than on TV mainly because you don’t have to listen to Pierre McGuire. But also it’s great to hear the individual booing of teams like Boston and Montreal (neither team gets love in this state) and to join in the annual booing of Gary Bettman. To his credit, he replied on the portable PA system “Thank you for that warm South Florida welcome” and proceeded to mention the standing room only crowd – which of course, never happens in this barn in the regular season.

18-year-old new Oilers prospect Connor McDavid faces the media (Photo: Eric Pinder)

From there, it’s a fairly predictable format. Team gets up, usually thanks the hosting organization (Oilers GM Chiarelli hilariously thanked “The city of Florida” but he’s Canadian so maybe he’s never been down here before) then names their pick. Said draftee then gets up and hugs mom and dad then siblings then maybe shakes hands of coaches and friends in the next row then makes his way to the floor where there is the awkward jacket handoff. (seriously, what’s up with that? Is it a new suit  purchased for the occasion and this is the first time you’ve taken it off?)

Then said pick makes his way up the stairs receives a jersey – sometimes with a name plate hastily velcroed to the back or in one case, I kid you not, taped. They don the jersey, in some cases as awkwardly as they took off their coats and they jam a team cap on their head, partially obscuring their face. Then there is posing for photos and more handshakes and everyone traipses down the stairs back to the floor and the next team has their three minutes and then their awkward parade up the stairs to the podium. By the time you get to pick number fifteen, you are already fairly bored as each team milks their opportunity for more time on the stage.

While waiting for all this to happen, music is piped through the PA system and sometimes clever selections are made: “Werewolves of London” for Phoenix Coyotes or “Philadelphia Freedom” for the Flyers. Other times questionable choices like “Pumped Up Kicks” – a song about gun violence – crept in. And the inevitable “Final Countdown.”

Speaking of which, shouldn’t there actually be some sort of penalty for teams that aren’t up onstage by the end of their allowed three minutes? If that happens, I think the next team to pick should issue a challenge and have their team mascots fight it out. If a team doesn’t have a mascot, the coaches then Indian Leg Wrestle for the spot. This would keep things moving and provide more excitement for the crowd falling into a state of lethargy.

The new prospect also gets theme music as he makes his way on up. Inspirational music seems to be the choice, but using the Jurassic Park theme doesn’t really seem appropriate. If you want uplifting music from before the draftees are born, choose the last movement of Respighi’s Pines Of Rome. That was written before anyone in the arena was born – except Lou Lamoriello. FYI, had Jagr been there, I would have made that joke about him.

Typical press scrum at the Draft (Photo: Eric Pinder)

Next is the round of interviews where the responses like “world-class organization”, “amazing opportunity”, and the all-important “I can’t wait to play for this amazing organization” are spoken in a near monotone. Just once, I would love to hear a player say, “I can’t wait to be traded to another team for future considerations” but clearly no one wants to rain on the parade. (Crap! I think I just made a Funny Girl reference.)

The next day flies by in comparison as there’s no jersey parade or handshake lines. The drafted players head over to the team table as the next team makes their selection. It’s amazing how much faster it goes. But I suppose with first picks out of the way by round 4, teams may just kind of be guessing by this juncture. I mean really, there’s no way to tell if these players will ultimately be able to play at the level required in the NHL. You can scout all you want, but there’s a big adjustment these kids – and they are indeed kids – will have to make to their game to succeed.

But there’s time for that later. The draft is really a time to recognize and celebrate these players for the success they’ve already achieved to make it here. And to get fans excited to learn about new players that may be traded for draft picks in a couple of years.

I suppose this cynical view is tempered by the Lightning’s loss in the Stanley Cup Finals. I did go to all the interviews of new Bolts prospects and was impressed how well poised their picks seemed to be. Steve Yzerman has done a great job with his picks and trades during his time as GM and they are positioned to be a threat for a few more years, so they really didn’t have any pressing needs they needed to fill. It’s good to know they don’t need to rush any of these players into the system. I listened in to Stevie Y’s press scrum where he said they were optimistic about the players they had chosen and that time would tell. Which, of course, is the same thing 29 other general managers were saying.

Ultimately, the draft is about celebrating the remarkable camaraderie of the hockey community. It was wonderful watching opposing coaches chatting with each other on the floor along with scouts, GMs and members of the press. I suppose for many of the former players now in team management, it’s a nostalgic feeling to remember their draft day.

For me, it was an “amazing opportunity” to see how a “world-class organization” puts together such a complicated shindig. Plus an opportunity to chat with the likes of Scotty Bowman and the incredibly gracious and intelligent Elliot Friedman. PuckDaddy legend Greg Wyshynski was so very nice and complimentary. Another big highlight was getting to meet Michelle Gingras, the Lightning reporter. (She loved my pink and green Converse I wore for Pride weekend). Also, I got to thank Patrick Burke, our great straight ally in the sporting world.

So thanks to Puckbuddys, the NHL, and the City of Florida for this remarkable opportunity. Now, Let’s Go Bolts!

Eric Pinder is an actor, writer, and opera director in Orlando. His long awaited libretto of his hockey themed opera “Goaliedämmerüng” is nearly complete. He is not very fond of Pierre McGuire. Mike Milbury either.

Once a player gets to the NHL level, it’s self-evident they have the talent and drive to be there – even if they are on the team solely to be a punching bag. I respect their dedication to the sport. I understand the discipline and training that goes into the the job. Also, I’m not privy to the whole story on a person or the team. I only know what I can glean from press or social media (both have varying levels of accuracy). There are always other dynamics and factors – human beings still lurk beneath the professional facade.

All that being said, I’m not here to heap slag on to Martin St. Louis for requesting a trade. Besides there are plenty of others ready to refer to him as “Baby St. Louis” (I’m looking at you, Milbury) Bolts fans never see this behavior from our beloved #26. He’s always been a team player and (to use another hoary cliche) the heart and soul of this team. That’s why it’s so painful to see this petulant side to a leader and role model. Is there more to it than the Olympic snub? Let the rampant speculations commence! Clashes with Coach Cooper? Frustrated by their system (or their habit of letting two goal leads evaporate)? Tired of being interviewed by color commentator Bobby “The Chief” Taylor?

Since you, the discerning reader, visit this site for a different take on the NHL, we are pleased to provide this following commentary featuring (what else?) comparisons of Hollywood film divas Bette Davis and Joan Crawford. Both notoriously demanding actresses, they had completely different styles and methods to get what they wanted. Davis stomped, screamed, threw tantrums, bitched out the crew for lighting her from any angle she deemed inappropriate.

Crawford was far more devious. She killed ’em with kindness. She would bring her famous homemade baked goods to the set and remembered crew member birthdays, even their family member’s birthdays. And when she didn’t like, say, the lighting, she would have a chat with the lighting director and changes would happily be made. They were both tough as nails broads who schemed and clawed their way to the top of their profession (well, Joan did sleep with anyone she needed to which helped) but those reputations have always remained in the collective conscious.

I don’t compare Marty to Bette just because she was shorter (Did You See What I Did There?!? It’s A Short Joke! It’s Flipping Hysterical And Totally Original!) it’s the whole willing to burn bridges attitude that will ultimately tarnish all the good will Marty has built in the Tampa fan base. Because he’s not supposed to be Diva in the negative connotation of the word, he’s supposed to be the Captain. He’s supposed to be the veteran leadership not the elephant in the locker room or worse, the albatross around the team’s neck.

And to paraphrase Ms. Davis in the camp cinematic classic “Whatever Happened To Baby Jane”: “But cha ARR in the captain’s chair, Marty!!! Ya ARR!” But when the captain of a team practically demands a trade (and then invokes the No Trade Clause to force Tampa to send him to a destination with limited trade bait), you pretty much have to dump him rather than poison the atmosphere in the locker room any further.

And the timing is fairly awkward since the Lightning are set to celebrate the 10th Anniversary of their Stanley Cup victory and as Marty was MVP of that shindig, it’s gonna be hard to excise him from the highlight reels. Will they fly Marty in for the ceremonies like so many other of those team members? Well, Vinny probably can’t be there either.

At least his buyout was amicable and not so publicly acrimonious as this affair has been.  Ultimately the Lightning fan base will forgive Marty, but it will take a long time for these scars to heal. On both sides. And it will be a long while before the number 26 is raised to the rafters in the Forum.

What buried him was that ridiculous front-loaded contract left to the current management by the previous regime (aka The Clown Show). But Mattias Ohlund’s shredded knees put him on IR, so you can’t buy him out (ah, the vagaries of the CBA – if you are paying them not to play, why does it matter if they can actually play?) and they hope that Ryan Malone has trade value when paired with a draft pick, so that leaves Vinny and his $7.7 million hit. The Lightning will be paying him $32.67 million through the 2016-2017 season so they won’t get away cheaply, but at least it won’t count against their cap.

Still for those of us who view him as the face of the franchise, it will be tough. He did rack up some impressive achievements during his 1000 plus games as a Lightning including being a 4 time All Star, picking up the Rocket Richard and King Clancy trophies, along with a Stanley Cup which included an historic bout with Jarome Iginla.

I remember that fight well mainly because I was worried they would ruin their good looks. No, I kid, it was a turning point to the series in Game 3, and when it’s played on the jumbotron as a highlight of Lightning history, it is lustily cheered by the crowd. And how many Stanley Cup winners have been in a movie? Vinny played Jean Beliveau in The Rocket. It was a god awful made for TV film (propaganda, is my father’s take on it) but still. There’s no point in watching it. (Fun Fact: I found a copy on Amazon for $2 – the shipping was more – and got Vinny to sign it!)

His charity work is also impressive earning him an NHL Foundation Award. He has been tireless in his support of the community including donating three million dollars to help start the Vincent Lecavalier Pediatric Cancer and Blood Disorders Center at All Children’s Hospital. He will continue all his fund-raising even if he moves to a different team.

He views Tampa Bay as his home and plans to raise his family here. Not to mention his dreamy good looks. Those limpid, lanquid eyes. I imagine the Lightning will retire his number as a goodwill gesture for all he’s done for the team and the city – not necessarily for his model like visage.

But lest you think everything is perfect in “VinnieWorld”, let’s look objectively at the past couple of seasons. The injuries which have hampered his career (shoulder, wrist, ankle, possible concussion, maybe weltschmertz?) continue to bother him. His once potent slapshot is not as accurate as days of yore, but he is still a great playmaker and while they’ve dwindled over the years, his point totals this (shortened) season were just under one a game. I’m sure arguing with the likes of John Tortorella and Rick Tocchet took its mental toll. Not to mention the constant trade rumors he endured before Steve Yzerman became General Manager and said that Vinny would not be going away. Oops. Awkward.

More respectful objectification reminiscences after the jump

I have no doubt that Vinny will find work with another team at a much lower salary. The Red Wings keep popping up as a possible destination since they need a good center since Valtterri Filppula hasn’t payed off. And as Wings fan, I’d love to see him center a line with Datsyuk and Zetterberg. But this is @hockeyguynyc territory, so I’ll refrain from further comment. Point is, Vinny seems very motivated to go out and win with a new team. I just hope it’s not with the Habs. Obviously, we wish him the best and will miss his pretty face during interviews.

Now we need a new captain. I’m just going to go ahead and give it to Marty St. Louis this years’ winner of the Art Ross and Lady Bing Trophies. (The oldest recipient of the Art Ross might I add) He is already what is considered the “heart and soul” of the team: a selfless individual who will do what has to be done to win games. He is notorious for his fierce workout regime. Never drafted by the Lightning, he made the team through hard work and determination. As an example, I was at a Lightning game where they were playing Pittsburgh and were down by three (and two of the Pens goals were shorthanded). I watched Marty take the puck end to end and score a goal. It was though he skated around the Pens through sheer will. The team rallied back to win in OT. These are the kinds of clutch goals that he scores on a regular basis.

Stamkos’ name also appears as a leader, but just as Stammer has benefited from being under Marty’s wing (or more accurately being Stammer’s right winger) and developed as a better all around player, I think that he would absorb many valuable lessons from Marty’s captaincy. Really, either one is fine with me. What’s more important is what they do with the money freed up with Vinny gone. If Yzerman brings in another Alex Tanguay or Simon Gagne who ends up being merely mediocre, that money will be wasted and so will the fans’ goodwill.

Eric Pinder (@operahockeyguy) is an actor, writer, Director In Residence for the Florida Opera Theatre and performer of some notoriety on Orlando stages (resume available upon request). His hockey opera “Goaliedammerung” is still in the works, but he is currently adapting Dickens’ “Pickwick Papers” for the stage which is just as exciting as you might imagine. His father drank from the Stanley Cup and was also punched in the face by Jean Beliveau.

Still firing a coach before the end of a season (hell, before the end of a ROAD TRIP!) smacks of a desperation akin to a TV show bringing in a new character to boost sagging ratings.  In other words, if you have to bring in Chachi (or Poochie), you may have already jumped the shark.

Dwayne’s World

But how did it get this bad for the Lightning? Surely, last season was a suckfest. Steven Stamkos still won the Rocket Richard with a sixty goal season but really I think that’s all that can be said that was positive. Many lay the blame on GM Steve Yzerman’s decision to resign Dwayne Roloson after an impressive playoff run. But Roli proved he wasn’t up to the task for another year and had an abysmal 3.66 GA and .886 save percentage leaving an inconsistent Mattieu Garon to take over – if he wasn’t hurt.

Mattieu Garon

This season (once it finally started after the Dadaist farce that was the lockout with overripe melodrama and intrigue seemingly lifted from a late Tennessee Williams play was supposed to be different. Yzerman addressed the goalie issue by getting Anders Lindback who was working out well until the groin injury and the subsequent high ankle sprain (the high ankle sprain is to goalies what consumption is to soprano heroines in opera – it lingers until they die in Act IV) left us with the ever shaky Garon. 

Stevie Y also brought in more defense (since Mattias Ohlund’s knees are apparently only tissue paper now and he will never skate again) with Matt Carle and Sammy Salo who is considered a ‘stay at home’ defenseman (I really hate that term – it makes it sound like he’s at the blue line ironing and watching “Ellen” while the rest of the team does the work). 

Their job was to assist perennial fan whipping boy Victor Hedman and Eric “Bruiser” Brewer. To be fair, Victor has been improving. Yes, there’s still the odd reverse up the boards to the opposing team, or deflecting the puck into his own net, but he’s also shooting the puck more with four goals on the season. He’s even earned a spot in the shootouts. He’s currently plus six on the season despite the horrendous giveaways he makes usually every three games.

And certainly the Lightning started very well going 6-2. Captain Vinny Lecavalier was playing a more physical game getting into two fights (of course both of those were against the Flyers – which is no surprise – if those thugs had a mascot, it would be a mugshot). Inspirational feel-good story Cory Conacher made the team and was racking up points earning him consideration for Rookie of the Year. Then came the road trip. 

The Lightning have had their road woes in the past but this was truly something special. The only game they didn’t lose on that trip was the Boston game delayed because of huge storm. But once they got home, they still kept losing. It got so bad that our beloved homer announcers Rick Peckham and Bobby “The Chief” Taylor were trying to drum up excitement at one point by announcing that the Lightning were only SEVEN POINTS out of the playoffs. And this is in the Southeast Division (aka ‘The Losing-est Teams in The League’).

Oh right, and then the injuries. Practically everyone was injured once if not multiple times.  Ryan Malone pulled a groin during the pregame soccer game in the hallway. Once back, he injured his shoulder on a check. Vinny was out with his foot (again). Salo got hurt and when he got back, Hedman went out. The rotating roster (which sounds dirty but isn’t) allowed several callups from Syracuse which has gone well, and bodes well for the future of the organization. 

Killer smile

For example: Alex Killorn has seven goals, plays very well, and has a killer smile. Ryan Malone still wins in the adorable smile category since his eyes sparkle and beam. Killorn’s smile is more intense – like maybe he’s thinking about beating you up. A quick digression on groin injuries: Why are there so many? Are there not enough people to massage the thighs of hockey players? I know plenty of people (me) who will gladly volunteer. Oh pardon me, I’ve just been informed that apparently you have to be certified to rub the genital area. Strange, I’ve never had anyone ask me for credentials before.

The biggest offender of the season was really apathetic play. Even Marty St. Louis, normally so energized and dynamic, seemed to be just ‘skating through the motions’ as though awaiting the endgame (not the fun Beckett Endgame). 

Now I don’t have access to the locker room (Please Lightning, let me visit the locker room. I promise I won’t steal any gear), so I won’t pretend I completely understand the team’s mentality, but it seemed as though the players had given up on Coach  Boucher’s system.  But I’m also sure that Boucher wasn’t saying “Make blind passes that lead to giveaways in the defensive zone” which seemed de rigueur for each game.

Yzerman said that he decided to fire Boucher after the first period of the Ottawa game on 3/23. It should be noted that they Lightning did try to come back in that game, but the die was cast. (alia iacta est, bitches) Let’s also note that the Lightning have the best Third Period goal differential in the league.  That may also be because opponents are playing with, oh say a three or four goal lead, and they fall into a stupor and allow the Lightning to score.  Sure, it’s fun to watch the Lightning tie up the game with only seconds left, but you know what else is fun?  Watching your team actually play with the lead, that’s fun.

Coach Boucher, fired before the game in Winnipeg (which they still lost), was a class act all the way.  He wished the organization all the best and even flew back and thanked all the staff for their hard work.  He will be missed for his laser focused ‘Death Stare’ (patent pending) and his non PC mocking of officials. Also, I still long to ask him about his conversations with Scotty Bowman as I’m so curious what those lovers of head games might have discussed. 

To replace a coach who came from the AHL, you obviously find another AHL coach.  Although, it may be more about the fact that new coach Jon Cooper had already coached many of the team when they were on the Syracuse Crunch. He also seems to be more of a ‘player’s coach’ (And what does that mean? Is it like the ‘Player’s Club?’), but I notice that in interviews he still has the ‘deer in headlights’ look.  It can’t be easy to suddenly take over a struggling team filled with people you barely know and come up with some miraculous plan when the team still struggles to get the puck out of their own zone without coughing it up.

Some help has arrived in the form of goalie Ben Bishop. True, the Bolts gave up Cory Conacher and a draft pick, but Bishop has proved pretty solid. He seems focused and calm, reads the play well, and possesses a fairly mean poke check. Plus, he’s a big body who moves well. (Another phrase I hate – if he moved poorly, he wouldn’t be a goalie) Still, in must win situations, the team still comes up short. There are flashes of brilliance: hard work in the corner leading to a goal, brilliant defensive play that looks effortless, but these are few and far between. Mostly, they manage to win games only if the other team loses them first.

Who will show up next season?  Will there be a new coach?  Maybe some buyouts of fan favorites suckling on the salary cap teat? Will the GM be replaced mid-season? There might be more changes in personnel than the new season of Downton Abbey. If only we could get Maggie Smith on skates. P.S. – Follow the adventures of #DowntonHockey.

Eric Pinder is an actor, writer, Director in Residence for Florida Opera Theatre, and performer of various theme park extravaganzas. He is writing a hockey opera currently titled “Das Rinkgold.” You can follow him on Twitter @operahockeyguy. His dad was once punched in the face by Jean Beliveau. Yes, that Jean Beliveau.

Mid-pack among the 28 NHL teams we love to hate, are the Tampa Bay Bolts. For starters, the Lightning’s 2011 second round playoffs sweep of the Caps still grinds our gears, and then there’s the fact that we’ve yet to find a contributor to cover the team for us. Screw dem bums, they blow.

It’s with that bad taste in our mouths that we headed to the St. Pete Times Forum, home of the Republican National Convention, one of us literally – Doug is on-the-ground in Tampa, covering it for Voice of America. Always the consummate professional, he won’t let his personal distaste for the Bolts influence his even-handed and balanced coverage of the proceedings, but for the convention widow at home, I seethe in bitter resentment every single evening, loathing everything about that filthy barn.

Since there’s so little actual substance coming from the podium, and so many TV time outs, it’s a fun exercise to view the proceedings through hockey lenses. So little of the rink setup remains after the arena was converted into a TV soundstage for the Romney coronation, that even with tonight’s presence of 1980 Olympian, Mike Eruzione, the barn still won’t have much of a hockey vibe.

As I tune in every evening on C-SPAN (Disclosure: our former employer), I envision the pomp, circumstance, gaudy attire and silly hats superimposed over the rink. Two lucky delegations are sitting where the goals normally are, but three other key rink features were much harder to place: the Tesla Coil, the bench and the penalty box. Doug, with a helpful Times Forum employee to the rescue!

That weird-ass Tesla Coil was removed from the arena’s overhead rigging for obvious reasons, not because it was a security risk for the attendees and delegates, but because MSNBC producers had threatened to light it up each time someone on the podium stretched the truth.

This evening, Mitt Romney, will officially accept the Republican party’s nomination for president on an elaborate stage (undergoing an expansion), that was constructed over the team benches. Mitt will be standing just over the spot that Bolts bench boss, Guy Boucher, normally prowls, spits and curses.

via @morningmoneyben

The penalty box? The sin bin (Ohai, Sasha!), is occupied by both the main media riser (ahem), and seating for convention VIPs:  nominees’ families, distinguished guests, GOP officials and the party’s Daddy Warbucks set of triplets, Sheldon Adelson and the Koch Brothers. Read into that what you will.

Obama Biden or Romney Paul? What’s an undecided, persuadable hockey fan to do?  We know which sides these guys will take in the CBA negotiations (duh!), but until we see specific policy papers with their positions on the trapezoid rule, we’ll stay undecided.

It’s Fat Tuesday…Mardi Gras.  Show us yours and we’ll toss you some beads! Or maybe not.  Either way, whether you tend to spill more rum from Hurricane glasses on your shoes or jelly from packzis on your shirt, it’s a day to celebrate.  And after last night, we’re ready!

Just not much to say today – we actually have work to do.  And the rest of the season to fret about.  And then playoffs.  And Coach Boudreau’s blood pressure.

Speaking of for just a quick moment, what was with Coach’s comments yesterday about the Bolts’ squad?  “Stamkos, he dives every two seconds.”  And this before the game?  So what if he’s right?  So what if Stamkos is a flopper?  Just thinkin’ here – not really the best time to launch a bottle rocket into the other team’s locker room.  I mean, on the Sheen scale it only barley rates…but lets just think a few before poking any wasp’s nests, eh?

Green on the ice for warm-ups in Tampa. Need Moar Green!

Whatever.  We’re in too good a mood.  And topped off with encouraging words from Katie Carrera about Nicky and Neuvy: “…they’re OK” sez Coach.

Pics from last night’s nail-biter, courtesy Mike Carlson of AP.  Proud of you, boys!

Let’s just say it: most people go to southern Florida to, in one form or another, die. (That’s why there’s such killer antiquing down there!)  Judging by last night, however, our Caps don’t intend to be most people.

For the first time in a long, loooong time, we’re heading into a key contest with a four-game win streak (OK, two of them were OTs) and first place in Southeast division at our backs. Yes, there are areas of concern – our PP is still boo-worthy (but don’t go there), Ovechkin still tends to bauble easy passes and shots (although standbys Backstrom and Knubs compensate), and it seems almost impossible for the Caps to get on the board first.  Our games are consistently too close, and sloppy play like Wideman’s ill-timed slashing Sunday reliably puts us behind the eight ball.

(AP Photo/Wilfredo Lee)

That and all the other bitching, deserved or not, said….somehow it seems to be working.  Coach Bruce “Juggles” Boudreau seems to have found mostly the right combos for his lines – 1st (Ovie, Nicky, Sturm) and 4th (Gordo, Hendy and Bradley – or the “Hooligan” line as we think of it) standing out last night, Arnott’s 2nd a bit asleep and Mojo’s 3rd workmanlike – and has clearly found the right man to tend goal.  Neuvy is clocking in with amazing performances lately (helped along by Gordon and Carlson) and we’re hopeful that soon Varly, Greenie, and Fehr will be back on ice where they belong.

From Ovie's twit-pics. We wanna see the shots he didn't tweet out.

And look…say what you want about our sleep-walking Sasha.  We do, and we still love him.  In part for moments like last night’s OT rifle-shot that gave us the GWG.  And in part because he’s still Sasha-beautiful.  (Nah, it doesn’t really work, does it.  Semin-tastic? Mmm…no, Sem-sational?.)  He’s everything we want: namely, he performs when we want him to.  HA!

OK.  The Caps still have a job to do tonight.  Mangling the Bolts.  It’s not gonna be easy; but then again, what is?

Since nabbing Dwayne Roloson, Tampa has proven elusive for the Caps – with the Bolts winning two of the last three.  On the other hand, star hottie Steve Stamkos is looking more like a nottie lately, and his production deficit may have something to do with the Bolts dropping six of their last nine.  Yzerman is a clever man – he knows his teams’ weakness (offense) and Washington’s strength (defense) means the Bolts have to come out swinging fast and hard.

(AP Photo/Wilfredo Lee)

This is going to be a physical game.  And by physical we don’t mean just Hendricks laying down the hurt.  Expect the Bolts to be up in our grills from puck-drop and not let up. An early indicator for us tonight is how the Caps hit the ice.  Within the first five minutes we’ll know whether they’re ready for a whompin’ an’ a stompin’, or a nice nappy.

Oh, and we can’t forget the ice-cake. We’ve noted some of the Dolts‘ hotties previously: Stamkos, Downie, St. Louis, Lundin, Clark and suit Steve Yzerman. Yup.  Pretty much run through the roster there.

There is one guy that still catches our eye: Marc-Andre Bergeron.  Not really so much hockey-hottie, more big goof.  We grew up surrounded by guys like Bergeron.  Generally speaking, what they lack in physical heat they more than make up in other ways.

Bergeron in his "Wild" years (Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)

A few minutes into last night’s game, we had the sense of deja vu.  An early blown PP opportunity and a quick score by the filthy Bolts had all the makings of a long evening.

But in the end, there was a hockey game last night and a fight(s) broke out – and so did the Caps. An all-around effort and a huge win when it counted. 

A (mostly) sound beating of the division leaders on their own ice, near the end of an unprecedented 25 game home stand.  We got our sorry asses shut out twice by those gangsters in recent outings, but last night we got w.i.n.g.s.  And a whole  lot of satisfaction, not to mention optimism that we hope will carry us further. 

Further means playing host to the horrible Pens in tomorrow’s Super Matinee, and further means the remaining games over the final third of the regular season. 

For the purposes of this argument, further doesn’t mean the playoffs – there’s so much work to be done ahead of those series, including the grueling March road schedule.  That has all the makings of a long, long month, one that we hope doesn’t equate to the Bataan Death March on Ice.

The expecations last night were that it was a ‘must-win’ for the Caps.   The 20,000 Tampaturds who filled the St. Pete Times Arena probably had their own expecations – a third shutout of the Caps.  F expectations.

We don’t understand the calculus of awarding the game’s three stars, so we use our own math, and even though there were tremendous efforts form the big boys Alex and Nicky, and fists of fury from the Matts, we give all three stars last night to our guy in the net. 

Varly stood tall and hung tough despite a couple of heartbreak Bolt goals that really could’ve taken the starch out of him.  He shook off the early score from Purcell and again, stood steadfast after that ominous PP shot late in the second by Clark.

The first few minutes of the third were disconcerting, something was missing – the burning desire to win.  Sitting on a one goal lead with 15 minutes to play is never a comforting spot for us to be in. 

We’ve seen that song and dance before and it never ends well. 

Facing several Bolts barrages, Varly hung tough and in an added display of determination, Nicky stood tall. 

Leading 4-2, well into the third, there was a collective sense of calm and confidence sweeping over Capsland. 

The shot of a smiling Nicklas Backstrom on the bench was reassuring to all. 

You smile, we smile.  It’s contagious.

And now for the victory lap – tomorrow, our barn, our rules. 

Let those Shittsburgh miscreants enjoy their 3-2 edging of the Sabres last night. 

They have 36 hours to contemplate and obsess over what lays ahead for them at Verizon tomorrow. 

They’ll arrive without the pesky Sidney or Gino to dirty up our beautiful sheet, and face a team of Boys in Red who will be playing with the wind at their backs.  We did after all, slay a giant last night.

Note to Slapshot:

Aim your burrito cannon, Papa John’s launcher and beer nozzle at us tomorrow. 

You can handle the altitude of section 409, can’t you?

Programming note: It doesn’t make much sense for us to do a Pens preview tomorrow.  Instead we’ll offer up a few thoughts on the recent turmoil surrounding a longtime PuckBuddy pal, City Paper sports columnist Dave McKenna, and his own battle against another giant.

And because we love Matt Hendricks and extra hate that hooligan, Steve Downie:

All Photos: Chris O’Meara – Associated Press

We got our MoJo working, but...

We imagine Coach B’s language was considerably saucier – and why not?  What happened to the Caps powerplays in Sunrise last night?  Same thing that seems to be happening in too many games now.  

Let’s sunset what happened in Sunrise and pull it together tonight in Tampa, eh?

Penal System: While we’re here, let’s re-vist the other lesson last night taught us: stop with the penalties already, guys!  To overstate the obvious – You’re killing your chances  – literally, at least on the board.  We totally get that Coach is fidgeting with the lines, swapping this for that and seeing what works best.  (BTW: if you’re a numbers nerd, Neil Greenberg at the Post’s Caps Insider has a spreadsheet – really? – looking at which lines are working best.)  But geez, two 2-man advantage powerplays for the Panthers?  Oh and surprise: they scored on Neuvy both times.

Coach Gabby Sweary: Sorry to sound PMS-y today, but another irksome habit has been the Caps first period performance: 0-3?  Sure they battled back – again and again – but why dig yourself into a hole in the first place?  We’re not sure what Coach Boudreau is saying during the breaks…oh, wait.  Yes we are.  Still, we’re a little concerned about his blood pressure.  And ours.  Free advice: Coach, start yelling before the first period.  And boys?  Stop giving him reason to yell.

(AP Photo/Lynne Sladky)

Who’s Got The MoJo? OK, enough of the whining.  We’re darn proud of our second Swedish meatball, Marcus Johannson, and his performance last night.  He and team-dad Knuble (would he be a DILF?) did us proud. 

We hope they keep it up, and maybe inspire some of the other guys (*coughBackstromcough*) to step it up.  I mean: you want your pics in the blog here, right?

(AP Photo/Lynne Sladky)

And no, you’re not wondering but I’ll tell you anyway: my original family name was Johannsson when we came over from Sweden ourselves.  So, you know, Marcus I think we should have a family retreat sometime.

Bash the Bolts, part 2:  We’ve already taken a scouting report look at Tampa’s lineup…as only we can.

(Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)

But as always there’s a little more gold to be mined…and we frankly don’t mind Dominic Moore in the least.  The 30-year-old, seen here from his days with the Leafs, has several things going for him…which is probably stating the obvious, again.  But there’s this, too: the Bolts are 5-1-0 in games where he scores.

So Dominic: we’d welcome your scoring just about anyplace but on the ice tonight.

Something old, something new - Getty Images

We’re used to the boys coming out a little…slower…at the top of the first, and Tampa was more than happy to step up, testing Varly against some of their better shooters. 

Still, we’ve seen this before.  As long as Varly keeps it in his cub and we bringing pressure, things often turn around.

Turn around they did as the Caps definitely picked up the pace coming into the second stanza, taking several early shelling runs at Dwayne Roloson (still in his Islanders helmet?…accessorize, Miss Thing.) Still, the guy looked totally solid in the crease.  Maybe age has its advantages…perhaps just not the age of Nassau Veteran’s Memorial Coliseum might be good.

Trading punches was relatively limited this time out, but trading insults was not.  An aborted fight between Matt Hendrinks and Steve Downie quickly spilled over into the sin bins, the two delivering a string of verbal bitchslaps.  Geez, we haven’t seen two men shouting at each other like that since…well, never mind.

As usual Ovie was gang-rushed on the boards several times, proving that clearing a way out of coverage for him is going to be important in the coming weeks.  Sasha and Mojo had several good runs,  but as we’re getting used to, they just couldn’t get to a happy end.  We here there are doctors out there who are miracle workers, lemme tell ya….

Still, hey, a loss after just one shot in overtime?  Nothing to feel bad about. And we got to welcome back the best team working in the hockey booth today: Joe B. and Lacher.  Put up against “the best” NBC had to offer for the Winter Classic, Joe, Criag and Al schooled ’em last night.

Oh hey, today – Jan. 5th – is Mathieu Perreault’s 23th birthday, you Capricorn you:

“There’s nothing to worry about right now, so if you’ve been eyeing this date on your calendar with some trepidation, there’s no reason to continue.  Run into life without hesitation, and you’ll escape the extra stress.”

Looking forward, Stamkos and his bunch travel up to Iron City today to play the Pens at 7p.  What’s worse?  Having the team over you in Division standings win over the Pens, or having the Pens defeat the team that’s over you in division standings?

We recommend just getting Chicago-style hot dogs and beer and watching the end to 24/7.  At least we know there’ll be lots a toys for all us girls and boys under that tree.