Scouting Report: Toronto Make-Beliefs

Hey Keith Olbermann!  Wanna Write for a Gay Hockey Blog? For Free?

Ahh, Toronto!  City of a thousand shades of beige!  Land that gave us Timmy Hos, cheap tickets to half-baked musicals, and Mr. Pizza.   And, of course, the Maple Leafs.

John Candy long ago taught us there’s a rainbow in Toronto and a pot of gold at Yonge Street, but it’s been a long time – a very long time – since the Leafs brought home the gold in the shape of the Stanley Cup.  (How long?  Let’s just say Rich Little was fresh and funny.)

It’s unlikely that’s going to change this year.  The Leafs are a middling team with an offense that just hasn’t gelled on ice.  Except, it seems, when it comes to the Caps.  Twice we’ve met this season, with both games decided 5-4 in a shootout (we took one, they took the other.)  The troubling part of this is how strong the Leafs have come out in the third period against Coach B’s squad.  Considering our slow starts of late, and the Caps continuing line-dance…well, let’s just say it could be a long night in front of the teevee.

Colton Orr, doing what he does

But enough hand-wringing; we’re in the land of ham and hockey, so lets take a look at who we’re up against.

Out for the Leafs is brawler Colton Orr, following an unfortunate head-ice collision during a fight with an Anaheim Duck.  We wish him, and his fists, a speedy recovery.  In are Fredrik Sjostrom and Mike Brown – who clearly is a finalist in the Best Pornstache portion of our competition.  (Mike, take a tip: that Tom of Finland look is sooo 1980’s.)

You won’t have to work hard to see Asst. Captain

Mike Komisarek (Jamie Squire/Getty Images)

Mike Komisarek at the Hangar tonight, in no small part because at 6’4″/243, the native Long Islander is impossible to miss.  He’s also second in hits for his team, and from the looks of it he’s given better than he’s taken.

Tyler Bozak, the 24-year-old Center, will no doubt be facing Nicky 19 tonight – with almost 54% he leads the Maple Leafs in faceoff percentage. He’s also been on something of a streak lately, scoring 4 assists and one goal so far this month.  Mess him up Nick…but not too much.

And just for the fun of it, we love this shot of Phil Kessel in action.  Sorta everything we love about hockey.So there you have it.  Toronto: hometown of the Hockey Hall of Fame, Craig Laughlin, and the maple-flavored krapfen (look it up.)  And a couple hot hockey players.  Let’s just leave with a win.

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